


Inexpressive

by cherryblossombomb



Category: Free!
Genre: Floor Sex, M/M, Mild D/s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 20:02:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryblossombomb/pseuds/cherryblossombomb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not in Haruka's nature to smile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inexpressive

It's not in Haruka's nature to smile.

Even as a kid, smiles were few and far in between. Initially, Makoto had been slightly anxious around him, worried that Haruka simply didn't like him and just didn't feel compelled to show any happiness around him. However, with his quiet persistence, Makoto continued trying to befriend him. Whenever he saw Haruka at school, he rushed to claim the seat beside him, and hastily stuttered out a shy greeting. When he saw Haruka at the park by the pond, feeding the ducks but gazing more at the mossy water than the animals living in it, he'd sit beside him and ask if he wanted to play. Somehow, he can't really remember when, they started visiting each other's homes, going swimming together, walking to school together -- they spent all their time together, and neither of them knew when that had happened.

But in all the years they'd been friends, even Makoto had only seen Haruka smile a handful of times. In photos their parents took of them swimming together, Makoto donned a bright grin with a few missing baby teeth, while Haruka just sort of stared blankly in another direction. Makoto had quite a few photos on his phone of himself and Haruka together, out shopping for goggles or buying tempura, even some at a theme park. They'd gone on the water rides, Makoto had thrown up, and they had to go home early. But in all of those photos, Haruka's face was as listless as ever.

The only photo he had of Haruka smiling was one that Haruka _kind of_ didn't know he had. Makoto had just been messing with his phone and playing games on it to pass time while everyone was having lunch together on the roof. Nagisa and Rei were preoccupied, laughing about something Makoto had missed, and Gou -- ah, Kou -- was giggling happily to herself, a hand up by her mouth, and everyone was caught up in their shared contentment. Makoto chuckled too, turning to smile at Haruka, whose head was bowed a little, hair falling in his face, and the faintest little smile illuminated his face. Nobody else was looking at him, so maybe that was why he allowed himself a moment to show how happy he was to be surrounded by friends, and Makoto felt a little bit guilty when he covertly took a picture of the rare sight.

It wasn't really a big deal, he supposed. He knew when Haruka was content; he looked up more and his eyes were brighter, even if he didn't smile. When he was sad, he slumped, almost imperceptibly, and frowned slightly deeper than usual. It was easy to tell when he was angry though; Haruka didn't mind glaring as much as he did smiling. So, Makoto was fine with Haruka's expressions the way they were. He could make whatever expression he wanted to.

... But he still wanted to see him give into emotion sometimes.

And it seemed that Haruka only did that, even if only slightly, when he saw Rin. Haruka probably thought nobody had noticed, but despite his efforts, his armour was slightly cracked. Whenever Rin showed up, Haruka's eyes widened and shone like he was caught in a maelstrom of painful feelings -- but he never spoke of it afterwards.

"Makoto," Haruka suddenly said, and Makoto jumped in surprise, dropping his controller and then fumbling for it again.

"Ah, yes?" he asked, laughing sheepishly for his clumsiness. But Haruka didn't speak for a long moment, so he paused the game and glanced over to him. "Haru-chan?" he mumbled, blinking in befuddlement as he met Haruka's frown. "Is something wrong?"

Haruka's frown deepened a little more, brows furrowing, and his gaze dropped. "No, it's nothing," he said, turning back to the screen and hitting the PS button. Before he could do anything, Makoto paused it again and put his controller down, and moved to grab Haruka's.

"If it was nothing, you wouldn't have said anything," he said softly, hoping he wouldn't unnerve Haruka and frighten him off. Although he was usually the one to worry and scare more easily, Haruka didn't deal with words very well. If you spoke to him in the wrong way, he'd bristle... sort of like a cat.

Haruka looked at his controller as if it could get him out of this situation. Makoto wanted to say it was fine, let's continue playing, but it wasn't often that Haruka started talking about something like this...

"It's just..." he began, glancing towards Makoto through his peripheral vision, and then looking down again. "You look... unhappy," he muttered, so quiet Makoto misheard him for a moment, but then sat back on his hunches after realising what he'd said.

"Ah..." he said, blinking owlishly, "you're... worried about me, Haru-chan?" He probably should have reeled in the tone a bit, he sounded a little too full of wonder at such a simple thing. But Haruka frowned more and flushed slightly which, Makoto thought, was an expression he'd seen quite a lot recently. Haruka didn't seem to want to say more now though, lips shut tight and eyes fixated on his immobile hands, but even though Haruka was embarrassed, Makoto couldn't help but grin. "Thank you for worrying about me, Haru-chan, but I'm fine!"

Haruka looked at him then, eyes calculating. and then sighed. "I know I'm not... good at talking," he said quietly, unconsciously picking at his nails, "but... if _you_ want to talk, then I'll listen."

And how ironic was it that Makoto was only thinking about Haruka talking about things, about showing how he felt, and yet he was the one who seemed upset now? He chortled quietly at his musings and shook his head, looking away and rubbing his forehead. "To tell you the truth, Haru-chan," he said, "I was thinking about you."

Haruka blinked, taken aback, but quickly recovered. "Did I do something?" he asked quietly, and although there was almost no indication of it on his face, Makoto swore he seemed guilty.

"No! No, Haru-chan, you didn't do anything," he assured him quickly, waving his hands emphatically to emphasise his words. "Well, you see... it's because you don't do certain things that I'm worried about you."

At that, Haruka deflated again, looking blasé as his shoulders dropped along with his eyelids. "You always worry about me," he said. "I'm fine."

Makoto gave him a smile that was an odd mix of exasperation and fondness. "I know, Haru-chan," he said, "but I just..." He hesitated, swallowing slightly because he felt kind of demanding... "I wish I could see you smile sometimes." He clenched his eyes shut, a mantra of  _oh man, why did I say that? I'm so stupid_ running through his head.

"Why?" was all that Haruka responded with. Makoto peeked open one day and looked up at Haruka through his fringe, abashed and nervous. He unfurled and rubbed his neck nervously, averting his gaze.

"I don't know, really," he said, chuckling sheepishly. "You don't have to if you don't want to!" he said hastily. "I'm just being..."

"Why are my expressions important?" Haruka asked again.

"Just... they show how you feel," he replied lamely. He was thinking of so many memories and all the speeches he'd came up with to imagination!Haruka to tell these things to, but he couldn't articulate any of his thoughts into words in front of the real Haruka.

"Water doesn't have expressions," said Haruka after a moment, as he stared out the window at the sky where the sun was slowly sinking beneath the horizon, painting the sky in warm hues reminiscent of the transition between summer and autumn. "But if there's a storm, it seems angry. The waves rise up and then crash down." He finally put his controller down and brought his knees to his chest. "When it's still, it's calm, and lets leaves and petals rest on it. When it rains, it's unhappy; water from the sea rose into the sky and then falls back down again."

Makoto, confused over the water anecdotal comparison to the sea, sighed at Haruka's constant water-based thoughts but decided to pursue the subject if it was easier for Haruka to communicate this way. "And when it's happy?" he asked, tilting his head, silently wishing Haruka would look at him.

Haruka paused, and Makoto listened to the sound of the clock ticking, the wind chimes drifting, and the breeze fluttering the curtains -- and all of them made the suspense worse.

"Even through all the hardships the sea faces," said Haruka, "I think it's still happy. When it rains, it gets the water it lost back. Storms make you appreciate the sea again when it's calm, but it's still beautiful when it's angry." He shook his head, obviously caught up in his metaphor. "But it doesn't need expressions to express itself."

Makoto sighed, sagging back against the sofa. "Yeah, I know," he said, fiddling with a loose thread on his shirt. "Sorry, Haru-chan, let's keep playing." He smiled apologetically and went to grab his controller, but Haruka's hand met his before he could. He blinked, surprised, and stared at Haruka questioningly. "Ha-Haru-chan?"

Haruka frowned. "Even in this situation, you still have to add the chan?" he mumbled, shuffling forwards to kneel between Makoto's legs. He stared at him determinedly, and Makoto didn't know what to do. He sat there, frozen, watching Haruka squirm nervously before him. It was only when Haruka swallowed and looked away that he acted, leaning forwards and pressing their lips together, light as a feather.

"Is this okay...?" he asked, hearing Haruka's breath hitch slightly.

Haruka nodded once, jerkily, knocking their foreheads together. Makoto grimaced and rubbed his head, and tried not to laugh when he saw Haruka's red cheeks. Winding a hand around the back of Haruka's neck, he tugged him forwards into a kiss, pressing their lips together and licking tentatively at Haruka's. After a moment of hesitation, Haruka tentatively mimicked him, grabbing Makoto's shirt in his hands to hold onto. Makoto didn't think Haruka even realised he'd done it, and god, that was so _cute._

He licked at Haruka's lips and then slid his tongue through his teeth, and then swept it across Haruka's tongue. Haruka made a quiet noise in the back of his throat and tried to copy Makoto's technique, but he seemed so unsure of himself. He couldn't just dive into his like he did with swimming. Makoto, feeling somewhat bad about it, was pleased to take the lead in this. Grabbing Haruka's wrists, he broke the kiss for a moment, just in time to see Haruka glance down at where he was holding his hands, and he flushed furiously. Ah, so he _had_ done it without realising...

"Haru-chan..." he whispered, breathless, reverent, and Haruka frowned nervously up at him. "Can I keep going?"

Still blushing darkly, Haruka looked away before nodding stiffly. With that confirmation, Makoto shoved Haruka on the floor, pillowing his head with his hand, and then lifting it to kiss him furiously again, all tongues and panting and bruised lips. He grasped Haruka's wrists again and pinned them to the floor, and Haruka gasped as his hips thrust upwards.

Makoto blinked at him, surprised, and Haruka's already flushed cheeks darkened to a dusty rouge. "What?" he mumbled defensively, but Makoto couldn't bring himself to--

He swallowed thickly. "That was so hot," he said, and his voice almost didn't sound like his, husky and slightly hoarse, but then embarrassingly squeaky at the end like he hadn't hit puberty yet. He could've sworn he saw amusement glinting in Haruka's eyes. He laughed embarrassedly himself. "Shut up," he said, and then bent down to kiss him again, making sure to keep Haruka's hands pinned down. He kissed him sweetly, and then hotly, fiercely, kissed him like he was drowning, and only pulled away when neither of them could breathe. His dick twitched in his pants, straining against the jeans, when he saw Haruka's half-lidded gaze, shining lips with remnants of saliva on them, and his chest heaving as he gasped for air and oh god, he'd never be able to look at Haruka the same again when he got out of a pool.

"Mako-- nn!" Haruka gasped, clenching his jaw shut to hold in the noise, as Makoto lifted his leg in between Haruka's.

"Aah, Haru-chan, don't stay quiet," he murmured against his ear, nibbling at it and smirking just a little when Haruka trembled and turned away brusquely, obviously hoping to hide his face. "Where would you like to do this...?" he asked huskily, one hand drifting down towards Haruka's crotch. Haruka's hips jerked again, and he held his free arm in front of his eyes to hide his face as much as possible.

"I don't... care," he forced out, swallowing and panting breathlessly, hips jutting up and down involuntarily as Makoto rubbed his dick through his pants.

"You wouldn't care if I just fucked you here on the floor?" Makoto asked, tone hushed, breath hot against Haruka's neck before he bit down on it and sucked. "Haru-chan?"

"Mm--!" Haruka slapped his hand over his mouth, eyebrows drawing together as he tried desperately not to make a sound, even as his body trembled and shivered against his will. "M-Makoto..." he said, and Makoto raised his head to meet Haruka's dazed eyes, ready to stop if he asked. "Call... Call me Haruka," he said, and then grabbed Makoto's collar and dragged him into a kiss.

Makoto gasped into it, surprised, but then his eyes fell shut and he licked Haruka's lips again, then met his tongue and kissed him forcefully, his dick twitching within its confines whenever he heard Haruka gasp. He felt it leak precome when Haruka _whined_ against his lips, and unzipped Haruka's pants to stroke his dick. His own was hurting now, but he wanted to see Haruka writhe and shudder beneath him more than anything. He stroked Haruka's dick and teased the head with his thumb, hiding his smirk when Haruka jolted in surprise. Finally, he let go of Haruka's hand and used them to hold down his hips as he took his dick in his mouth, revering the sound of Haruka's unrestrained gasp. He slid his tongue over the head and then sucked it as far as it could go. He let go of Haruka's hip to toy with his nipples a little, and didn't stop sucking at Haruka's dick as he did so.

"M-Maa..." Haruka gasped out, fisting the carpet in his hands and clenching his eyes shut as he panted. "Ma-Makoto... s-stop..."

So Makoto let go of his dick with an obscene popping noise, looking past it into Haruka's eyes and licking the precome off of his lips. It was... kind of gross, and obviously Haruka thought so too because he made a face.

"Do I still have to kiss you?" he asked, and Makoto snorted before laughing.

"You're so romantic, Haru-chan," he said, smiling up at him. When he opened his eyes, a small, fond smile was lifting Haruka's lips too. He said nothing though, and instead crawled over him, bowing his head to meet his lips. "Haru...ka," he said softly, and Haruka met his eyes, then raised his arms to wrap around Makoto's shoulders and pulled him into a kiss.

"Makoto," Haruka breathed against their lips, "I'm ready."

"Are you sure?" he asked, kissing Haruka's knuckles as he lifted himself above Haruka. Heat pooled below as he held himself over Haruka, seeing his dark hair splayed out against the floor, eyes shining, lips dark and wet and face flushed.

Haruka nodded, silent, and Makoto smiled at him.

"One second," he said, kissing his hand again, and then rushed to get lube from his bedroom, hidden beneath his bed. He must've got carpet burn as he dashed back into the living room and skidded to a halt on his knees, coating his fingers in it before looking back down at Haruka, whose eyebrows were slightly raised. "You could say I'm excited," he said, smiling awkwardly.

Haruka glanced down at the tent in his pants and then back up at him. "Might?" he mumbled.

Makoto flushed slightly but chuckled. "This is going to be cold," he warned him, leaning over him again.

"I know," said Haruka. "It doesn't matter."

Makoto smiled reassuringly at him as he kissed him, slipping a finger into his hole slowly. He felt Haruka tense and tried to break the kiss to ensure he was okay, but Haruka only leaned up to seek his lips as he did so. He chanced sliding another finger inside, scissoring with them slightly to try and stretch it to accommodate him. Recalling Haruka's reaction earlier when he pinned him down, he broke the kiss and whispered, "Maybe I should just hold you down and finger you 'til you come." Immediately after, he wondered how the hell he’d had enough courage to possibly say that. Oh God.

But Haruka – Haruka _whimpered_ when he’d said it, and it was just about the hottest thing Makoto had ever heard.

“Do you want that?” Makoto asked roughly, angling his fingers to the left—

“Ahn… AAH!” Haruka cried, back arching as he clenched the carpet in his fists, gasping and writhing in pleasure.

Makoto stared for a moment, astonished, and then swallowed again. Oh, god, that was so hot. “Y-you liked that, Haruka?” he said, moving his fingers up and down, up and down, hoping to get that reaction out of him again, desperate and wanton.

“Ma…koto…” Haruka said, eyes fluttering open, looking up at him almost _pleadingly_. “Just… do it already…” he said feebly, unable to say something like that bluntly.

Makoto hesitated. “Is it okay?” he asked. He wanted to, oh god he did, he wanted to fuck Haruka so hard he _screamed_ his name, wanted to fuck him until he couldn’t move, until he couldn’t remember his own _name_ —

“ _Please_ ,” Haruka forced out, turning away in embarrassment. Makoto grabbed his chin and kissed him roughly as he unzipped his pants and coated his dick in lube. He continued prepping Haruka a little longer, adding a third finger, because as much as he wanted this, he didn’t want it as much as he wanted Haruka to be safe. “Makoto…” Haruka gasped into his mouth.

“Okay,” he whispered, trailing butterfly kisses up his neck as he slowly, carefully pressed into Haruka.

“Nn—!” Haruka twitched, and his pleasured expression slipped off. Makoto halted.

“Should I stop?” he asked gently, kissing Haruka softly, sweetly.

“No,” Haruka said quickly. “No, I’ll be fine,” he said.

“Tell me if I should stop, okay?” Makoto said, and then thrust his hips once to bury his dick deeper inside Haruka. Haruka was gripping the carpet so hard his knuckles were white, and he was biting his lip so hard Makoto worried it would bleed. “Haruka,” he whispered, sweating in an effort to hold back, “hold onto me.”

Haruka forced his eyes open, gazing up to meet Makoto’s warm green eyes, and uncurled his fists to wrap his arms around Makoto’s shoulders.

“Trust me,” Makoto murmured against his lips.

Haruka gazed thoughtfully at him for a moment, and then smiled, just slightly, as he kissed him.

Makoto began to move, thrusting his hips, a little clumsily at first as he tried to find a rhythm, and pumped Haruka’s dick as he moved. He listened to Haruka’s heavy breathing and watched as his mouth fell open and couldn’t help but think he was just so fucking hot when he lost his inhibitions. He kissed him hard as he stroked him faster and angled his hips, thrusting in time with Haruka’s movements. Haruka’s toes curled and he dug his nails into Makoto’s back as his own arched and he felt heat coiling in his abdomen and fuck, he felt like he was going to _break_ —

“Makoto, I’m…” He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t; it was too embarrassing. He flushed deeply and turned his head away. How stupid was it that he was embarrassed to admit he was going to come when his best friend was _fucking_ him and stroking his dick?

“Come, Haruka,” Makoto ordered, breath hot against his ear, and he thrust in _just_ the right place, over and _over_ and over, and Haruka couldn’t _take_ it anymore—

“MAKOTO!” he cried, arching and writhing and gasping as he came, Makoto still slamming into him and stroking his burning hot dick. He collapsed against the floor, sweating and trembling, dazed and sated, and he just gazed up blearily at Makoto as he fucked into him. “Makoto…” he breathed again, still out of it, barely able to even get his name out, and Makoto came with a jolt inside of him, gasping Haruka’s name.

He slumped against Haruka when he finished, dick twitching inside of him, and he felt Haruka’s hands slip from his shoulders. Peeling himself off of Haruka’s sweat-covered chest, he glanced up tiredly to find Haruka’s eyes barely open, cheeks still flushed, and body shuddering slightly from aftershocks.

“So… did I make you forget your own name, Haru-chan?” he asked with a faint chuckle, carefully pulling out and fumbling for tissues.

“Haruka,” he corrected, but it came slowly, like he had to think about it. He glanced wearily at the tissues in Makoto’s hands and shook his head, but didn’t raise himself up. “Don’t bother with the tissues,” he mumbled, “I want a bath.”


End file.
